Well hello there – I’ve finally re-written my About page!
If you’re an old reader (thank you!) or new (hello!), I hope you will indulge this bit of navel gazing from me. The below took four separate drafts to write! Hopefully the following will also give a bit of context to the thoughts and ideas I share here at A Life Less Frantic.
What you need to know about me
In a nutshell:
- I’m your very typical Type A striver.
- It’s very hard for me to see an opportunity or have an idea/goal and not go after it.
- I hold myself to very high standards.
- I thrive on achieving the goals I set for myself.
- I am, however, also a realist. For the most part, I don’t expect things of myself that aren’t reasonable (except that thing where I try to read people’s minds. I’m trying SO hard to stop doing that.)
- I also adore and deeply value my little family unit and am constantly trying to find a happy medium between wanting to spend quality time with them, and wanting to achieve the goals I set for myself. I think this is going to be the year I achieve that happy medium.
If we’re talking personality types …
I’m an INFJ:
Introverted – INtuitive – Feeler – Judger
All of these elements exist on a spectrum and often people straddle the centre of that spectrum with one or two of these elements. I don’t straddle. I’m firmly all of the above, but particularly strong on the introversion and feeling.
I spent the first 35 years of my life fighting against my Introversion. I thought introversion = uncool and unsociable and of course you don’t want to be either of these two things in Western society right? Then I read this book and it completely changed the way I felt about myself. Today I embrace and work with the strengths of my introversion, but am mindful of not using it as an excuse to put limitations on myself.
When it comes to being an Intuitive – this explains why I was not well-suited to running a business. I’m a big picture thinker who struggles with systems and details. Thankfully my husband is an S (Senser) and is good at these things. That’s why he runs our business now and I provide support to him in the background.
The thing that most gets me into trouble is the Feeler side of things. I’m wired to try and understand people’s motivations and needs so I’m always reading between the lines of what they are and aren’t saying. I’m also highly-focused on the subtle cues people put out that help me better understand said motivations and needs. I get a huge hit of dopamine every time someone tells me they feel I ‘just get them’. On the flip side, I get very frustrated and upset if I don’t ‘get’ someone and I feel like I’ve failed them. I am working on not thinking like this! (See aforementioned mind reading thing.)
The Judger side of me is the bit I am most comfortable with. It doesn’t mean I sit around judging people! It means I “prefer a planned or orderly way of life, like to have things settled and organised, feel more comfortable when decisions are made, and like to bring life under control as much as possible.” It also means I don’t mess around – I get things done! I love this side of myself. I love being an organised person of action (even though, yes, it does occasionally put me on the path to burnout.)
So what else do you need to know? Well over the past five years there have been some fairly torrid periods but all that water under the bridge has brought me to this moment in time – a moment where I feel very settled and content; very in sync with the ideals of ‘A Life Less Frantic.’
What are the ideals of A Life Less Frantic?
Well, when I first started this blog I was someone who prided themselves on their ability to squeeze every last drop out of every day. The problem was, (in the ever-eloquent words of my friend Anna):
Running on a knife edge, where one change in plan will have a domino effect on all the other plans, is no way to live.
Essentially, the constant rushing from one thing to another and the aforementioned ‘domino effect’ was causing too much stress … and stress for me triggers anxiety and depression (INFJs are very prone to anxiety.)
How did I get on top of all this? By ‘embracing the busy by living intentionally.’
But last year, I came to realise that perhaps I needed to stop embracing the busy. Perhaps A Life Less Frantic needed to be about actively creating more space in one’s life.
So that’s where I am today.
I am learning that I don’t just need physical space to thrive, I need mental space too.
And … that’s pretty much it for now!
Unless of course you are super nosy and want more. In which case:
- Here are 10 things you don’t really need to know about me.
- Here are 7 things that were great about being 37.
- My life story. (Literally.)
Here are my favourite things I’ve ever written on this blog
- The story of Ant and I (up to Mia’s birth).
- This series on personality types.
- This rather melancholic piece about life.
- What I’ve learned from trying to be someone else.
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